Believe in yourself

My first day as a teacher's aid starts tomorrow, and just days prior, I was feeling hopeless and doubting myself.

I had two back-to-back interviews because I wanted to gain work experience working with children. One was at a preschool/daycare, and the other was at a private Christian school—a church I've attended since I was 12.

I heard about the daycare job because the woman wanted Christmas photos with Santa for an event she was having, so my husband and I photographed the event. I explained to her that I was looking for a job working with children because I'm studying early childhood education. She contacted me a few weeks later about the open position she had. I was very nervous and focused on what I wanted to contribute to the children's curriculum, which I forgot about myself. She asked me, "Describe yourself in five words." I was so focused on how I wanted to help that I forgot about myself. I was shocked that I even got a second interview, but unfortunately, I had to go to class during the second round of interviews because I get credit for attending class. I told her about my schedule but never received a message back.

The next day, I had an interview with the private Christian school. I found out about this job because I knew a teacher there who I met at the young adult services that the church holds. Before church services one Sunday before Christmas break, I told her I was studying early childhood education at College of the Desert and looking for work experience. She got so excited and introduced me to the head of the Christian school. We exchanged contact information, and she told me she would contact me after Christmas break. Almost a month had passed, and I hadn't heard anything back, so I decided to contact the head of the education department at the school myself through email. I reminded her of who I was again and attached my resume. She explained that she's been busy because of the new year and sent me a job application. Once I filled that out, she scheduled me for an interview with her and one of the pastors. Unlike the first interview with the daycare, I felt a bit more prepared. This time, the interview questions were a lot more personal. I've never shared my testimony with anyone, and I shared about how the Lord saved me from the deep darkness I was in and how I've been baptized twice. I got a bit emotional, and he got a bit emotional. When we were finished, they said they would contact me when an open position was available. I thought it went very well and felt good about that interview.

About a month had gone by after those two interviews. I hadn't heard anything from either lady. I was getting worried and anxious. I was slowly losing hope and faith in my abilities and doubting myself. I started researching local jobs and internships. I started applying for scholarships and wrote many essays. I knew I had to snap out of it, so I started watching motivational videos and doing affirmations. I started focusing on things that will help me focus on the present moment. I started cooking and baking countless meals I had to tell my mom if she wanted some food because I had a lot. After about a week of getting my mind off the future and doing affirmations and prayer, I got a response from the private school, and they wanted a second interview. For the second interview, they asked me one question: "Tell me about yourself and your faith." I felt more prepared because I was still nervous.

Anyway, my first day of school is tomorrow.  Opportunities came my way I started to focus on the present instead of my future. I know I can be so impatient, people tell me, but if it weren't for my constant dedication and persistence, I don't think I would have gotten the job.